Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but uni network was down. So here is the next chapter. Some advice please . . . how do I get Brennan got confess his feelings, whom should he talk to about what is happening between him and Emma. Emma has Edward, all nice and understanding. Who does Brennan have? Shalimar?!

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Emma blindly followed Edward into her room. She stumbled on some discarded piece of clothing, only Edward's hand preventing her from falling to the floor.

"Careful, sweetheart. Watch where you are going." Emma looked at Edward with unseeing eyes. Edward shuddered at the barrenness he saw there.

He carefully sat her down on her bed, and pulled up a chair so he could sit next to her. Emma sat quietly on the bed, unheeding of Edward's presence or the silent tears which flowed down her cheeks. For all her physical stillness her mind was in a turmoil, crying over and over again like a litany *~ Why? Why? Why? . . . ~*

It took all of Edward's strength not to cry himself; Emma's emotions were so strong. He painstakingly brought himself under control, shutting Emma out of his mind as ruthlessly as he had pushed Brennan out of hers.

Finally, after gaining some semblance of control, he gently shook her causing her to turn her dead eyes on him. "Darling, please, don't do this to yourself."

Emma turned her face away from him and sat there, her eyes focused on the wall, as if she could see through it. See Brennan through it . . . *~ Brennan . . . Brennan . . . BRENNAN! ~*

"EMMA, enough. Snap out of it." Edward roughly shook her, causing her to grab his shoulders to prevent herself from falling backwards. She looked at Edward, finally seeing him, her fists clenching and unclenching in his shirt. She gulped, trying to speak but the sobs still racking her body refused to let any word escape from her throat.

Edward gathered her slim body to him and gently rocked her. "Cry, darling. I know it hurts. Cry all you want. Empty it all out of your system."

Emma clutched at him, letting herself go, letting go of all the pain she had been trying to fight. Her slender body shivered as she cried into Edward's shirt. Throughout it all, he held her tightly, protecting her from herself. He cradled her like a child as she cried and finally when there was nothing left in her, he just held her.

"It'll be okay. Everything will be okay. Trust me sweetheart." He stroked the back of her head until she was ready to talk.

"Feeling better?" Emma looked up at him with her red-rimmed eyes and he winced.

*~ Will I ever feel better? ~*

*~Oh, sweetie I hope so. ~* Small comfort, but that was all Edward could offer her.

"Edward . . .?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Why?"

Edward sighed, what could he say? What couldn't he say?

"Do you want to hear a story, little one?" Emma nodded weakly, clutching Edward even tighter as if his presence would substitute for another's.

"Well, there was once this nice young boy. He grew up believing that if he did good in this world and never hurt anyone then, this world would do good by him. All his life he practised this creed and it seemed to work in the beginning. He had a good life, a good job, good friends. Everything a nice young man could ask for. To make it all complete he met someone, someone wonderful . . ."

"What was her name?" Emma asked as Edward paused.

"Marie Adamson. She was the most beautiful creature this man had ever seen. Everything she did was enchanting to him. He lived for her and she for him. They were very happy together. Eventually they got married and the young man thought that life couldn't get any better.

But he was very wrong, so wrong." Edward swallowed and then continued. "These nice people had been married for about two years when Marie became pregnant. She was so beautiful, it was as if some inner light was glowing through her. The young man thought that if anyone was meant to be a mother it was Marie.

But it was not meant to be. Marie died giving birth to their son. He didn't survive for even 24 hours. In one day, the young man lost everything. His child, the woman he loved more than life - his very reason for living."

Emma felt Edward's tear fall on her cheek and she asked very quietly, "How old were you?"

He looked down at her, into her clearly lucid, blue eyes. "26."

"I . . . I . . ." *~ I am so sorry Edward. ~*

*~ I know. I know dear heart. ~*

"Why didn't you tell me?"

*~ Because it still hurts. Because I still wake up in the middle of the night still smelling her perfume. Because my arms still feel empty after these barren years . . . these fours years. ~*

"Well, I'm telling you now aren't I?"

Emma couldn't believe that she hadn't felt Edward's pain before. It was so clear now, an empty space deep within. *~So empty, so cold, so alone . . . so like . . . mine. ~*

Emma sat up, needing to put some distance between her and Edward. She didn't want to think about what he had said, she didn't want to see Edward in so much pain. She didn't want to admit that he had so many scars . . . she didn't want think how his story was relevant to her.

"Why . . . why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I know how it feels to lose someone you love."

"Love?" Emma shook her head, moving further away from Edward. "No, you're wrong." She laughed, but it sounded too much like a sob. "I haven't lost anyone, let alone someone I love." She shook her head again, trying to deny, wipe out what Edward had implied.

"It's okay, sweetie. I know how you feel. I've been there."

"NO!! You don't know what you are talking about. I don't love . . . him"

Edward sadly smiled at Emma. "Having trouble saying his name? Say his name for me, Emma. Tell me you don't love him."

"I . . . I CAN'T. I can't, I don't."

"Don't lie to me Emma. I have been in your mind, I know you better than you probably know yourself. You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. I have seen the way you look at him, as if you had found your purpose in life. I have seen the way you hold your breath even if he glances your way. I have felt your pain when you are near him. Don't lie to me Emma."

"That is not love."

"Then what is it? What do you call it when you think of him more than you think of yourself? What do you call it when you dream of him all night, when he is the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing in the night?"

"But it hurts so much. I don't want it if this is love."

"Do you really mean that? I could make it so that you feel nothing for Brennan. I could permanently cut him out of your mind - drastic surgery if you wish. "

*~ Feel nothing for Brennan? Feel nothing, be numb around him . . . emotionless, indifferent, . . . dead. ~* Emma shook her head. *~ If the pain is all I can have of him then so be it. ~*

"The pain reminds us that we are still alive. If we ache so much then we must be alive somewhere, right?" Edward said distantly, for a moment lost in his own memories.

Emma squeezed his shoulder, trying to lessen his pain. This man who had helped her when she thought no one could. Edward smiled, "It doesn't help that we are psionic does it? When we love, it is complete - mind, body and soul."

Emma nodded, knowing exactly what Edward meant. "Is that why I am so sensitive to him? Is that why he gets under my defences so easily?"

"We are always vulnerable to people we are close to. For the one we love, our defences might as well not exist."

"Then . . . what do I do?"

"Love him. What else can you do? Love him and be happy for him no matter what. The more you fight what you feel the worse it will be for you.."

"I don't know whether I can. I can't see him with . . . someone else."

"Better than not seeing him at all." It was not a question. Emma didn't speak, what could she say to a man who would never see the woman he loved? At the very least, she knew Brennan was alive. At the very least, her life still has meaning, even if it was one of hopelessness.

"I think you should go to bed, we'll talk in the morning." Edward tucked Emma into bed, and kissed her on the forehead.

As he turned to leave, Emma asked in a tremulous voice, "When does it stop hurting? When does it become easier to be away from the one you love?"

*~ Never. You just learn to live with the pain. ~*

Edward walked out of the room.

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